Three-O

Yep, I'm only two days away from my 30s!  Awesome!  And weird!  

My mom wrote such a sweet post on Facebook yesterday:

30 years AGO--which is a long time when you think about it--a REALY long time--I was HUGE--well actually I was pregnant --but HUGE all the same--It was hot outside and I had a 2 1/2 year old to tote around too--in those days we didn't have the option of knowing the sex of the baby--Stan had picked out the name of Joseph Bradley as we figured another boy was in our future but somewhere in the back of my mind--I hoped for a girl--a squishy, dress in pink, little sweetie--I had picked the name Jillian Esther if I was so fortunate to have a girl--- and I spent my days waddling around, entertaining the 2 1/2 year old and floating in Jeff's wading pool face first with my belly in the inner-tube while he splashed around. I was grateful no one could see me as I looked like a whale and felt like one too--little did I know--that 3 days later a VERY special someone would greet me with a YELL! I was actually due in July but of course the Doctor doesn't REALLY know--he just guesses--so as I approach the 28th of june--I think about my special someone who has made my life complete--love you Jillian E


Sweet, right?  My parents are pretty awesome.  But birthdays for me have been a little weird ever since I passed my brother in years.  (He was 27 when he died in 2007.)  I'm not really depressed or sad when I think about him... more so reflective... a bit nostalgic perhaps.  I find myself listening to 90's alternative music and remembering rides to and from school with Jeff - good memories, not sad memories.  Music was a big part of our lives.  Playing music, listening to music, writing music... when I think of the music we enjoyed, I remember good times.  It's funny how I can hardly remember the bad times... I remember we had them, but the details have grown fuzzy as the years have passed and what's remained is the good times.  That is such a gift from God for which I am so grateful.  But when I think of being my parents' first kid (or only kid) to turn 30, that still feels wrong - out of sorts.  It's weird that I miss him but I'm not sad.  And I don't really have guilt for not being sad like I once had.  I feel like I'm doing okay.

I guess this is a random sort of birthday post.  But... then again, I'm rather random.

I've come to the conclusion that life is too short to remember and dwell on the bad.
So...
Here's to living life to the fullest and remembering the good times!
Cheers!

Cheese.  

A Bridge...

What do you call a Kiwi, Swiss, Chinese and American hanging out around a pink floatie ring?  YWAMers.  

Kesia and I chillin at Yokohama Bay - We miss Big Island, but O'ahu's not too shabby.  :)

I will miss Hawai'i.

Our students have finished Luke, Acts, and all of Paul's letters leaving only 11 books in the New Testament!  I am especially looking forward to this coming week where Ron & Judy Smith, will be teaching Matthew and Hebrews.  They will complete their study of the New Testament on July 15th after the last book, Revelation is taught by Steve Gregg, author of "Revelation: Four Views".  I will head back to Kona on July 18th for 2 weeks of packing, fellowship, and all the details a move like this entails.

Transitions are always bittersweet.  I can't help but pray this is the last transition I make for a while.  I remember thinking in my early YWAM days, "I hope I always travel, always see new places in the world... I never want to stay in one place!"  And yet... here I am, turning 30 on June 28th, and more and more wanting to be settled and have a place to call home.

There's been a picture God has given me over and over throughout my life:  that I would be a bridge for others to get into missions.  And as much as I've fought this at times (bridges get walked on, after all) I've come to realize that I find so much joy and peace when I am that bridge - who God has created me to be.  When I see another dedicate their life to missions, for the sake of the Gospel... and know I had a part in their becoming a missionary (however miniscule a part) I think, "This is why I do what I do!"  This is what it's all about for me.  This is why I'm still serving in YWAM after 9 years.  This is why I work the long hours.  This is why I teach the Bible, why I grade homework, why I lead  worship, why I attend meetings, why I cook meals or prepare snacks... because I'm investing in the lives of world changers who will take the truth and hope of God to the nations.  

So when I'm tempted to throw in the towel and just return to the nine to five because I'm not on the "frontlines" of ministry 24/7, I hear God quietly remind me that my role as a bridge is just as vital as the roles of those who would walk over this bridge into their calling.  And hopefully this bridge will be stationary for the next few years.   

What about you?  What is the role God has called you to fulfill?  Are you doing well?
If you are weary in your role, I pray God would strengthen you and give you rest.
If you feel unappreciated, I pray God would encourage you.
If you are unsure of what God has called you to do, I pray God would bring clarity and peace in how you can serve him right where you are right now.

May you be so encouraged and blessed, dear friends.  

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

Just finished teaching Colossians, my last teaching for the New Testament portion of the Honolulu SBS.  I really love our students and staff, this is such a great group of people hungry for the Word of God!

But, the title of this post is changes, so let me address the changes that are taking place in my life.

2 weeks ago a decision was made to keep the Hawaiian Islands SBS in Honolulu for the entirety of the 9 months, rather than return to Kona for the Old Testament.
My commitment to SBS in Kona finishes in August, but I was going to staff the whole school since I'd return to Kona and I have sort of built a life there.  I have great roommates in Kona, I have a car there, and I have really grown to love the land and sea surrounding this part of Hawai'i.
When the decision was made to stay in Honolulu, I felt like God was releasing me from staying in Honolulu.  I haven't had the easiest time here.  Not because of anyone, just how it goes I suppose.  Some places you click and some places you don't.

So, I will finish my commitment to stay in Honolulu until mid-July at the end of the New Testament.  I will be leaving at that time to return to Kona.  But because I won't be staffing SBS in Kona now, this has opened the doors for me to look beyond Kona as well.  I know it will be hard to say aloha (for now) to my roommates and neighbors and friends in Kona, but I believe God is calling me onwards from there.  I'll be there for 1-2 weeks at the end of July to sort out packing up things and saying "see you later."

I still am passionate about teaching the Bible in SBS and want to see Pacific Islanders equipped and sent out into worldwide missions.  With that in mind and in my heart, I am going to attend the North America SBS Conference in Montana in August, and then I will be relocating to YWAM Los Angeles to work with the Chronological School of Biblical Studies for the next 2 years.  I would like to eventually see SBS re-pioneered in the Pacific, but I am not ready at this stage to be a part of that vision.  Los Angeles is a lot more accessible to Washington than Hawai'i, and I feel that is also important.

This isn't a rash decision, but one I've made with much council from my leader here in Honolulu, the director of SBS in Kona, and also my pastor in Washington and friends and family.

But it is a change and I would appreciate your prayers that I would make the next two months here in Honolulu the best they could be, and that God would prepare the way for a smooth transition from here to Los Angeles and everywhere in between.

Thanks so much!

Famiry

I realize I haven't posted much about Honolulu.  I will soon.

But this week I am visiting my family in Washington and being reminded of how much God values family.  I know I'm not one to talk... My parents live in Washington and I live on an island that is really accessible by plane only (unless you have money and time for a cruise.)  That flight is 5 hours if you get a direct flight... which you probably won't.  I realize I'm not the greatest example of living close to family.  But, family is family and when times get tough, what family does is pull together.  So here I am in Washington.

I flew home for a few reasons this May...

First, my brother died on Mother's Day, May 13th, 2007... and that day is still hard for myself and for my parents.  I wanted to be there for my mom.  It has been five years but we still remember and miss our Jeff.

But secondly, my friend's mom is dying from cancer.  This same friend was there for me when my brother died... I just want to live out what I said above: when times get tough, what family does is pull together.  I want to be there for my friend like she was there for me and my parents.

And lastly, my grandmother is also battling cancer and she lives on my parents' property.  She is an amazing woman who has had much influence in my life.  I am happy to be able to take her to her radiation appointments and spend time with her on the drive there and back.  I also helped her with some gardening today.  :)

Sometimes I feel guilty because I'm the person who is always taking "vacations" to go home for one thing or another.  And other times I feel guilty because I'm not home enough.  But I guess it all boils down to family.  God gave me an amazing family in Washington.  He's also given me amazing hanai (kind of like "adopted") family all over the world.  But when times get tough for one of my families, I'm going to do whatever is in my power to get to that family and be there.  Be it skype or in person, God is teaching me to value and be there for my family.

There is much more I want to write.  There are some changes on the horizon for me (in regards to my work with YWAM) but I cannot make them public just yet.  Please keep me in your prayers in the meantime.  This has been a difficult and dark season for me.  But I am starting to see the sun on the horizon and I know I'll get through this.

Looking forward to a sunny and even brighter tomorrow,
Jillian

Around Honolulu

Me and my little friend, Ella!  Her parents are staffing the SBS with me :)

3 Tables (North Shore, Oahu)

Krista, Jessica, Kesia, Jae In, and Jess making Chinese Dumplings... Soooo tasty!

Hetty and I at Manoa Falls

Ayumi, Celine, Milda, Hetty, Jonna, and myself - Hiking to Manoa Falls

Four Months in Manoa

Greetings from YWAM Honolulu deep in the heart of Manoa Valley, Oahu, Hawai'i!

I'm settling in and making this place home, and figured I had better write you all! I have two roommates, Jonna (Pronounced Yoh-nuh) from Finland, and Krista from Tennessee. These two girls are going to be staffing the SBS with me. The other staff for our school is made up of 4 married couples/families.

The DTS from YWAM Honolulu is preparing to leave for outreach this Thursday. They are headed out in four teams to China, Thailand, Cambodia, and India to preach the Gospel and serve in practical ways, from teaching English in China to ministering among prostitutes in India. They have been very welcoming and friendly despite our limited time with them.

And then there is our SBS, which starts ONE WEEK FROM TODAY. Oh man. I think that just registered in my mind. We have around 20 students coming. We had a few accepted students who weren't able to get their visas to the USA... but we trust that God has plans for them even in this unexpected (in our eyes at least) turn of events!

So as we look forward to the arrival of our students from around the world, we are busy preparing our classroom and dorms for them. And busy preparing to teach as well. Our school leader, Plamena really champions us. She wants us to teach as much as possible, to give input in decisions for the school, and to grow in our teaching and leadership gifts. It is really a blessing to have leadership that is so dedicated to serving and developing the staff working with them. We even have two full-time pastoral staff who will not have grading or teaching responsibilities, but will be there to care for the hearts of us staff and students. Such a blessing!

A few things to pray for:

• Our students who still need visas - for favor with their interviewers and the US government
• Our students who still need finances - that God would provide and give them creative ideas how to raise the needed funds
• Relationships among our staff team to be strong and healthy - we are still getting to know one another and most have never worked with one another before this school
• Pray for this SBS to be a school marked by joy and a passion to learn - both our staff and students

Akua ho'omaika'i oe

Jillian

Oahu bound... and the brake light saga!

I know, I know... it feels like I just got back and now I'm leaving again. To be honest, I haven't been super excited about Oahu. I've been pretty busy the past few weeks, so I really haven't had much time to think about it... but I fly over on Saturday and our "Staff Training" time for the Hawaiian Islands School of Biblical Studies will start on Monday. I suppose transitions always create mixed emotions, but I'm just trusting God that when my feet step off the plane in Oahu my heart will come along, too and not be left behind in Kona!

Now, about the brake lights... It all started 2 weekends ago when my little neighbor (Lucas) turned 6 and I went to his birthday party.

Little did I know my safety inspection sticker was expired... On my way home from the party I was pulled over. Thankfully, the officer was super chill and just told me to get it renewed otherwise I could get pulled over and get a $75 ticket. So on Monday I went to get the inspection done and the guy says, "Uh, your brake lights aren't working... get that fixed and I can pass you." I went home and called my dad, googled solutions, and checked fuses and a light bulb. It seemed the issue was the brake light switch. Unfortunately, last week I was swamped with serving in hospitality, starting early in the mornings and going all day, so I didn't have a chance to do anything with my car. I kept driving it and praying nobody would rear-end me (or pull me over.)

And now for my divergent/attention deficit rabbit trails...

Here's a few things I served last week:

Alaska Salmon with lemon & dill (this photo was taken before it went in the oven)

One of the snack stops for a progressive lunch... at a construction site... That's a door on two sawhorses and fresh fruit salad. Pretty nice for a condo under construction, right?

Aaanyway, on Sunday I got a ride to church with some others on the worship team and borrowed roomie's car for the evening Filipino service (my last week of teaching Sunday School, awww!!!) I was feeling pretty uncomfortable driving without the brake lights AND the expired safety, so I avoided it as much as possible. Come Monday I promptly bought a brake light switch and had my neighbor Andrew install it. *Side note: I seriously have the best downstairs neighbors!* But the brake lights still didn't work.

UGH.

Off to the mechanic. This morning I took the car in to a place Andrew recommended and the guy totally helped me out... The verdict? Some relay thing in the trunk (sorry, Dad... I forget what he called it!) It's been quite the stress... as my dad knows since I've been bugging him at work several times this past week! Anyway, it's just suuuuch a relief to have it taken care of. Even if it is only 3 days before I leave the island.

So, that's the brake light saga. I'm grateful to have come to the end of that story. Next, I suppose, will be the starter. But not too soon I hope. I'm thinking Mom & Dad need to come out here for a visit in August and Dad can help me with car stuff... and I'll take him diving in exchange! Sounds like a plan!