Three-O

Yep, I'm only two days away from my 30s!  Awesome!  And weird!  

My mom wrote such a sweet post on Facebook yesterday:

30 years AGO--which is a long time when you think about it--a REALY long time--I was HUGE--well actually I was pregnant --but HUGE all the same--It was hot outside and I had a 2 1/2 year old to tote around too--in those days we didn't have the option of knowing the sex of the baby--Stan had picked out the name of Joseph Bradley as we figured another boy was in our future but somewhere in the back of my mind--I hoped for a girl--a squishy, dress in pink, little sweetie--I had picked the name Jillian Esther if I was so fortunate to have a girl--- and I spent my days waddling around, entertaining the 2 1/2 year old and floating in Jeff's wading pool face first with my belly in the inner-tube while he splashed around. I was grateful no one could see me as I looked like a whale and felt like one too--little did I know--that 3 days later a VERY special someone would greet me with a YELL! I was actually due in July but of course the Doctor doesn't REALLY know--he just guesses--so as I approach the 28th of june--I think about my special someone who has made my life complete--love you Jillian E


Sweet, right?  My parents are pretty awesome.  But birthdays for me have been a little weird ever since I passed my brother in years.  (He was 27 when he died in 2007.)  I'm not really depressed or sad when I think about him... more so reflective... a bit nostalgic perhaps.  I find myself listening to 90's alternative music and remembering rides to and from school with Jeff - good memories, not sad memories.  Music was a big part of our lives.  Playing music, listening to music, writing music... when I think of the music we enjoyed, I remember good times.  It's funny how I can hardly remember the bad times... I remember we had them, but the details have grown fuzzy as the years have passed and what's remained is the good times.  That is such a gift from God for which I am so grateful.  But when I think of being my parents' first kid (or only kid) to turn 30, that still feels wrong - out of sorts.  It's weird that I miss him but I'm not sad.  And I don't really have guilt for not being sad like I once had.  I feel like I'm doing okay.

I guess this is a random sort of birthday post.  But... then again, I'm rather random.

I've come to the conclusion that life is too short to remember and dwell on the bad.
So...
Here's to living life to the fullest and remembering the good times!
Cheers!

Cheese.